What I Learned from Jack Reacher

“I am not. hero.”

Jack Reacher

Tom Cruise, Rosamund Pike
Directed and Written by Christopher McQuarrie

My reviews usually have spoilers…

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What I Learned from Jack Reacher

the fear of food

There’s a Mexican place in Yuba City called Antonio’s that has a delightful dish called “Garbage Nachos.” It’s basically some tortilla chips covered with whatever the hell they have sitting around, pork, beef, chicken, beans, rice, peppers, shredded cheese, cheese sauce, extract of rat, whatever. It’s delicious but don’t ask questions, just eat it.

For most people this is not option. They fear that something is lurking in the food they eat.

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the fear of food

risk assessment

Little decisions that seem okay at the time have a way of building up into mortal disasters because humans are terrible at risk assessment. We don’t often actually consider how bad the “worst case” scenarios can be, and thus when the dice roll against us several times in a row there may be nothing left to do but die.

posted by seanmpuckett at 12:49 PM on 1/3

risk assessment

who r u

Sitting at my desk one day and my deskphone rings. It never rings, no one ever uses desk phones we all have work issued cell phones. I answer and a woman with one of the hardest to understand accents I have ever heard asks me if this is the IT department. I say yes, I figure it is an end user out at one of our stores and am puzzled as to how they got my desk phone #.

“Iz diz adreal mmpandee?”
“I am sorry, what? ”
“Idz dis ad reel compandee? $parentco? Idz $parentco ad reel compandee?”

At this point I realize it is not any of my end users.

“Yes, $parentco is a real company. ”
“Idz you in da nited states?”
“Yes.”
“Idz you work wit computers?”
“Yes, I do, but $parentco is a grocery store.”
“DO YOU WERK WID COMPUTERS? ARE YOU REAL? YOUR EMPOOREE IZ HERE AND I TINK HE IS CHEATING ME. ARE YOU REAL COMPANDEE? ”

So I was bored with time to spare and I somehow got her to tell me that some company technician was at her house and was trying to fix her computer and had said he worked for a US company with $parentco’s name and she had googled it, found my office location and dialed the number. The receptionist here had heard IT and forwarded it to me. I googled the name myself, since I couldn’t find anything and the woman was getting more and more agitated with the situation I finally just told her that if she felt uncomfortable with the Tech she should ask him to leave. She took this as a call to action and started yelling at the guy in a different language, it sounded African not Indian or Spanish. Then the phone gets handed to the tech and he is very angry with me. His English is better but not by much.

“Who are you muddafucker? Who are to tell me my compandee is scam? Fuck you muddafucker I am real compandee.”

He hung up on me. At that point I had the call on speaker so my coworker could hear. It was very hard not to crack up and now it is very hard for us to not answer the phone with that accent “who are you muddafucker?”

people are crazy
but
crazy is entertaining

who r u muddafucker

who r u

the iphone contract

So there’s this whole “To My 13-year-old, An iPhone Contract From Your Mom, With Love” going around and the first time I read it my head asploded. I can completely understand the concept of having restrictions and rules for a 13yo and his phone but this list is so far out of touch it makes me ill. It reads like it was written by someone a thousand years old and all “git off my lawn ya damn dirty kids.” The woman has absolutely no concept of technology or the world her son is growing up in.

Note: I am >30 years old. I grew up banging away on IBM 386s and computers so old that you booted with a 5 1/4 DOS disk and then put in the 5 1/4 disk with your program on it. I LOVE tech so I that’s where I am coming from.

I will address her rules and add what I think are more reasonable after the jump

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the iphone contract

I hate those p…

I hate those people who love to tell you money is the root of all that kills / they have never been poor / they have never had the joy of a welfare christmas

– Everclear “I Will Buy You A New Life”

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